is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Screwed.edu
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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