Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize