Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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