I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
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When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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