If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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