Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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