her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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