He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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