girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize