No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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