yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My ATM looks so different sober.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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