yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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