Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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