The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize