Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
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After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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