The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize