what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize