i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize