Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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