I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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