Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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