His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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