Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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