My underwear smells like fireworks.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
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If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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