is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize