I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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