Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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