Sponge bath it is.
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize