why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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