And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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