As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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