Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize