Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
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Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
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It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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