My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize