doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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