I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize