We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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