i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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