i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
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I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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