There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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