she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
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Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
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No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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