My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The uberlube is also flammable
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize