just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize