We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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