she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
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Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
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"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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