similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
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I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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