How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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