My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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