Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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