This is not my ceiling
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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